Talk
by Densinew
Summary: Kensi couldn’t take it anymore. They needed to talk.


Set sometime between 7x10 and 7x11

*

Since Deeks' arrestation, the air was tense between the detective and the federal agent. Kensi sensed that her partner was keeping secrets from her and lying about certain things. And whenever she would try to talk about it, he would turn her down saying that he had nothing to say.

Deeks was scared of what his partner's reaction would be when she'd learn the truth, his biggest secret. He knew how much she trusted him and how deeply hurt Kensi would be to learn that he had lied to her several times.

Already, their relationship was suffering from Deeks' lies and both partners were slowly drifting away from each other. All those nights usually spent together weren't anymore. No more cuddle session on the couch. Only a cold goodnight at night before turning away from the other in bed. They were like strangers, talking when necessary and avoiding the other.

Deeks would spend his nights at the beach while Kensi would watch the tv alone, eating rocky road ice cream.

Both partners were aware of their falling relationship, but neither of 'em was strong enough to affront the elephant in the room.

When a week before the holidays, Kensi had stopped him by grabbing his wrist and looked seriously in his eyes before saying that they needed to talk, Deeks hadn't been surprised. All he could feel was regret. Because he knew what was gonna happen.

She had finally had enough of his lies and his secret past.

He should have confessed everything sooner. Maybe they wouldn't be where they are today if he had did so. Maybe he wouldn't be about to get dumped by the woman he loves, his everything.

Feeling her delicate but firm hand on his wrist, the detective had dropped the box he had in his hands immediately, knowing what was going to happen. _Please, Kensi... Make it fast. I don't wanna cry in front of you. I know what you're about to do. It's okay, I understand. I shouldn't have let you fall in love with me in the first place. I knew I was too broken for you. I knew my past would be too hard on us. I'm sorry, Kens. _

_\- _**Deeks...**

**\- Kensi, don't ! It's okay. I... you didn't deserve that. I, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, **Deeks finished broken. He looked at her one last time, memorizing every details of her. Trying his hardest not to cry wasn't hard enough, because a tear had already made his way down his cheek where another would soon follow. He saw the incomprehension in Kensi's gaze, but didn't let himself hope.

Deeks was opening the door, head and shoulders down, crying freely when she stopped him.

\- **Deeks, wait ! Where are you going? What are you doing? **

**\- I'll drop at an hotel tonight and I'll cal you later to... talk about the house and the stuff. **

**\- What? **

**\- You don't need to tell me why. I knew it would be too hard on us, that it wasn't fair for you to be with me when you didn't know all my past. **

**\- What are you talking about, Deeks?, **asked Kensi sincerely wondering what her boyfriend was talking about.

\- **You don't want me, want us anymore, **Deeks replied his heart breaking hearing those words out loud.

\- **Deeks, no! It's not like that. Oh my god, no Deeks. Deeks, baby, look at me. **

The detective left his head looking at the woman he still loved more than anything in the world unsure of Kensi's plan.

\- **Hey, I'm not ending us, Deeks, **Kensi said reassuringly while wiping his tears away with her thumb. Silence flodded in their living room, Deeks slowly processing Kensi's words.

\- **Kensi,... **He was pleading her, pleading her to mean it. Mean that she still wanted him, loved him when he'd never been loved entirely before.

\- **Deeks, I love you. Nothing will change that. But I need you to let me in, baby. Because you're pulling away from me, from us and it's no good for neither of us****. **

\- **When was the last time you touched me, Deeks? When was the last time you said " _I love you " _to me? When was the last time we fell asleep in each other's arms, Deeks? When, Deeks? **

**\- Since you've been arrested, Deeks. It's been weeks! And I can't, we can't continue like that, so please let me in, baby. That's all I'm asking you, **Kensi finished, tears threatening to fall.

Deeks took a deep breath before lying everything on the table even if it cost him everything.

\- **I did it, Kens. I killed Boyle. I killed a cop. I killed a freaking cop, Kensi! And there's not a day where I don't think about it, but I can't say that I regret it without lying to you. He was going to kill her! I couldn't let him do that, could I? **

Kensi didn't respond, she fixed him. Deeks tried to read her, but she wasn't showing any emotions.

\- **Please, Kensi. Say something. **

**\- I figured it out. **

**\- What?, **Deeks exclaimed surprised.

\- **I... you were avoiding me and saying over and over that she hadn't killed Boyle. I knew you were lying to me and I know you, Deeks. I saw the guilt in your eyes your first night back home. Maybe before that.**

**\- I'm sorry, Kens. **

**\- Just don't lie to me ever again, okay? I want you, Deeks. I want us, but it won't work if you're keeping things from me. I need you to tell me the true even if you think it'll be hard. Are you willing to do that for me, baby, for us? **

Deeks cradled Kensi's face between his hand and kissded her deeply after saying " _**yes** " _He had missed her so much. Now that he knew that she forgave him, nothing was gonna keep him away from her.

_The end _


End file.
